divorce – Page 9 – Worcester County Mediation

What Should I expect at the initial free consultation?

At your initial free consultation at Worcester County Mediation there are many things to expect.

That you will be made to feel at ease. Most people are nervous when they come to my office for the first time. This is not uncommon. You are coming to my office because you are contemplating ending your marriage. Definitely a big deal. However, nothing is going to happen at the initial consultation whereby you will be forced to make decisions.
You will learn the difference between divorce mediation and litigation. The cost of each, the difference in time for each and what to expect from each. Ultimately you are the decision maker of which way you would rather move forward.
The initial consultation opens the eyes of the individual who really didn’t think they were going to get divorced. More often than not, parties that come to my office are not on the same “emotional” page. One person may have been emotionally preparing themselves for a divorce while the other person “had no idea” this was going to happen. The initial consultation allows for the party who was “unaware” how serious the other person was about divorce to start the realization process that a divorce is more than likely in their future.
You do not need to bring anything to your initial consultation at Worcester County Mediation. We will not be going over the facts of your case. This truly is just an opportunity for you to learn the difference between divorce mediation and litigation, the environment you will be working in and the opportunity for me to meet you and your spouse and for you to meet me. I do not believe in pressuring anyone because a divorce is a very hard thing to go through. I take as much stress out of the process as I can for you.
The initial free consultation takes about a half hour. This gives us plenty of time to accomplish the focus of the consultation. You will leave the consultation with plenty to think about without feeling too overwhelmed.
Please feel free to call me if I can answer any more questions about our free initial consultation. (508) 425-3002.
Written by Christina M. Wojtowicz, Esq.

Child-Centered Divorce: Learning from the Mistakes of Others

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Over the years there have been endless studies on the effects of divorce on parents and children. Some of the results are controversial. Others seem to be univrsally accepted as relevant and real. Here are a few of my perceptions from studies on children who experience divorce that I believe all of us, as parents, should take to heart.

Not surprisingly, the first two years of divorce are the most diffuclt. In some cases it takes an average of three to five years to really “work through” and resolve many of the issues and emotions that come to the surface. For some, the effects of divorce last many additonal years — or even a lifetime — if not dealt with appropratiely. Taking steps toward a child-centered divorce can dramatically impact the negative effects of divorce on all members of the family. It will help everyone to move through this time rather than merely letting “time heal all wounds.”

Preschoolers tend to be more frightened and anxious, but seem to adjust better than older children in the long run. Their biggest fear is of abandonment. Stressing security and a continuation of family routines is very helpful for them. Older children understand more, but do not have adequate coping skills and therefore seem to have more long-term problems. This is often becasue they remember life before the divorce and so experience a greater change of life patterns and dwell more on comparisons between the past and present. Stressing the love both parents have for the child — and that that love will continue forever is vitally important whenever possible.

Children who may have witnessd a troubled marriage and family life may greatly benefit from observing their parents now working out a reasonable and respectful post-divorce arrangement. This positive and mature behavior will affect a child’s adjustment more than any other factor.

It is never too late to create a child-centered divorce, even if you started on the wrong track. Every step you take toward focusing on your children’s emotional, psychological and physical needs as they move through the months and years post-divorce, will be a step toward modeling for them how loving, compassionate, and caring parents respond to their children’s needs. I encourage you to make your relationship with your children’s other parent as respectful and considerate as you can — for the sake of your children.

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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, has been facilitating relationship seminars and workshops for more than fifteen years. As a Certified Corporate Trainer and professional speaker, she now focuses her attention on coaching troubled families on how to create a “child-centered divorce.” For other free articles on this subject, to receive her free ezine, and/or to order her book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE? A Create-a-Storybook Guide ™ to preparing your children — with love, Rosalind invites you to visit her website, http://www.childcentereddivorce.com